There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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