Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Found the puke drawer
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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