Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
