I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize