I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
