OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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