Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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