dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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