I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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