I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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