so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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