i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
