When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
