do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
