My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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