First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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