Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize