My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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