There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
