I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
