Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
high people should be assigned attendants
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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