I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
