Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
