She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
