I saw his package. It spoke to me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize