glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
