you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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