Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize