sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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