well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
