I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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