Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
