is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Randomize
