Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
not ubering you a puppy
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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