it wasn't lemon gatorade
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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