Why are handjobs necessary in class?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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