I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
