Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just high enough for therapy.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize