I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We were destined to go to rehab together
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
