You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
