Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
