..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
