I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
