By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
