dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
