Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
