dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
