the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
