Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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