i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
There are leaves in my underwear?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
