nut hugger
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
