You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize