Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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