Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
