Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Enjoy the penises
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize