So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
