Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
