There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
