i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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