i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
