I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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