three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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