Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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