Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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