Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
