I got chris browned last night
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
