can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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