Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize